Thursday, March 02, 2006

Carnival of the Curmudgeons - Mark 8

Screw it. I give up trying to get the Carnival out on Weds. From now on, it will come out on Thursdays. Unless I'm doing something that makes it worthwhile to postpone it to Fridays.

  • Keeping up with the bird flu news? You should be. I've already spoken to the store manager at my local supermarket, and he says that if it gets here (and it's only a matter of time), chicken will hit $5/lb. That's disturbing enough, but if the rumor I heard last night (from some TV newshead via the gudwife) is true, they'll be weeping in southeast Asia too, as the H5N1 flu is reported to have crossed over into housecats. You didn't know they ate them over there? Did you spend ALL your down-time in the House of Boom-Boom and none actually studying the culture, Trooper? If you ate the usual unidentified BBQ meat on a stick, bro, you've probably eaten dog or cat.
  • The POTUS is backing slowly away from the UAE ports deal. First, he said he would veto any attempt to scuttle it, then he said he would be okay with a 45-day review, now he says he is okay with a full Congressional review. The deal is toast, as it should be. Look, I'm as conservative as the next curmudgeon, and you'll find me ranting at big government excess almost every day, but THIS IS A JOB OUR GOVERNMENT IS SUPPOSED TO DO, DAMN IT! The news of the Coast Guard Admiral expressing his opposition leaked out, and now we know the truth: there is now way this deal enhances security, and lots of ways it can degrade it. This brings up a point our "investigative reporters" have missed: just how many other deals are out there where we've sold our management responsibilities to the highest bidder?
  • How much of YOUR precious time does Bill Gates and his crappy operating system eat up on a daily basis? After doing dilligent research, I concluded that the Norton Antivirus pay-to-stay-safe program I've used for 5 years was an unnecessary expense, as GriSoft's free AVG is just as good. I download AVG and set about deleting Norton from my computer. THREE HOURS LATER, I'm still on the hunt for the remnants of NAV, which Windows XP has hidden in far corners of my registry. Even CrapCleaner and Registry Mechanic haven't gotten them all out. Yes, Norton wrote this software, but they wrote it to work on the convoluted XP OS, which is why there are pieces of it scattered thither and yon in the hard drive.
  • Speaking of computers (spit!), I haven't decided whether they are good for curmudgeons or not. They are supposed to make my life easier, but I spend more time keeping mine free of the wrong kinds of bits and bytes than I would keeping a Jaguar or MG running, and I can tell you that they require at least three hours of maintenance for every ten hours of driving, just so you can experience that English form of perversion. On the other hand, it is a constant mental exercise to keep them going and doing my bidding, so maybe I'm putting off the onset of senility that way. Maybe I'm senile for even trying. God only knows.
  • A decent storm blew through last night at oh-dark-thirty, and the 40-mph or so wind gusts woke me up. Then I heard the sound of an empty garbage cart being pounded into plastic bits in the street, so I had to fully wake up to engage the brain before I found that exact memory that assured me it wasn't mine, I had put it in the garage. I used to be able to handle this minor shit half-asleep.
  • Curmudgeon joke of the week, courtesy of the EllTee:
Every day, for a week, a female co-worker goes to the break-room to get coffee and every day, a male co-worker is there, stands next to her and remarks that her hair smells real nice. After a week of this, the gal gets peeved, and goes to a supervisor in Human Relations and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harrassment complaint against the male co-worker. The supervisor asks why. She tells him that she is annoyed by the unsolicited compliment. The supervisor says, "That's not much of a sexual harassment, is it?" The gal replies, "It is, considering it's coming from Frank, that midget you hired."

Well, I thought it was funny. You may have a different set of values.

On to the Curmudgeon links of the week.

From the Analog Kid comes this little bit of cheer from Mr. Justice Scalia of the SCOTUS. BTW, the AK is moving his household this week, and will be on hiatus, but has an able crew backing him up at Random Nuclear Strikes.

Kim DuToit, writing in the Other Side of Kim, prepares us for the hype and blather of the Academy Awards with this little set of observations. He's citing the blog of an English friend of his. Brit curmudgeons are a bit too intense for my taste, because their vocabulary hurts my sinuses, but this linked curmudgeon has hit the nail on the head when it comes to the vapid minds of Hollywood.

If you've been divorced, and paid child support, you may be forgiven for laughing at these, brought to you by GuyK at Charming, Just Charming. If you can't bring yourself to laugh, go to the range and practice. There will come a time when all your skills will be valuable.

PawPaw has the cure for Osama, as he watches the trial of Saddam turn into the circus we always knew it would be.

Not Fit for Humans has an interesting view when the traditional views of the Old Testament are explained by oh-so-sensitive teachers of the New School. Hint, it's a new take on Solomonic Justice.

In a Major Opus, Chris Byrne at AnarchAngel gets serious about arming up for home defense. This is a very long blog post, but if you need any information on selection of weapons for your primary duty (defending your home and family, duh!), you will find it all here. The only thing I, as a fellow gunblogger, find any fault with is Chris' (and many other's) love for the AR-15. I personally think it is the worst mistake of a battle rifle ever foisted off on any army in modern times. Your mileage may vary.

That's about it for this week. Thanks for your support.


Blogger Mr. Completely said...

"Their vocabulary hurts my sinuses"

Clearly the funniest line all week......

.......Mr. C.


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